Teaching English In Japan Is Awesome and Sometimes Hilarious

08/6/08  Print This Post Print This Post    180 Comments   Popular   Written by Abram Plaut
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You never know what your students are going to write.

This was one of the best essays so far.

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Considering teaching abroad? Check out some of our favorite articles on the subject: Top 10 Places for Teaching English Abroad; How to Become an English Teacher in Mexico; and the Beginner’s Guide to Teaching English in China.


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About the Author

Matador ID: Abram

Abram Plaut is an English teacher in Japan and he frequently posts his student's work on his blog Yo! Japan, along with tons of other cool stuff about life in Tokyo, such as fashion, music and interesting eats.

180 Comments... join the discussion!

  • Eric replied on August 7, 2008

    My favorite one my coworker got is "I wake up at 5am and then I choke a darkie"

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  • canada replied on August 7, 2008

    you ppl are such disgrace to make fun of the work of a student. shame on you!

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  • phil replied on August 7, 2008

    teachers these days….it is indeed a shame that people like you become teachers…it was such a good profession in my days with many teachers who wanted to help students

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  • apk replied on August 7, 2008

    how about blocking out the name? he trusts you as his teacher.

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  • Stevethedrunk replied on August 7, 2008

    It would actually be "They appear smarter than I." A valiant attempt though, how's 4th grade working for you?

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  • asdf replied on August 7, 2008

    make up your mind, is it fake or not

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  • Aviva replied on August 7, 2008

    pants are man's romances. I like that :)

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  • AJ replied on August 7, 2008

    Scolders, lighten up! If you ever taught English in Japan, you would know the unintentional funny things that are said and written. One of my students returned from a vacation in Mexico. I asked him, "What were the people like?" He said, "They were pussy." I then had to spend 10 minutes doing 's' and 'sh' drills.

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  • db replied on August 7, 2008

    Both "than me" and "than I" are correct. Switch out "I" for its corresponding 3rd person pronoun. Clearly "They appear smarter than HE" is incorrect. Than can take either "me" as an object, or "I" in the case that you meant "smarter than I am." –Your attempt was not valiant, just condescending.

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  • grammar po-po replied on August 7, 2008

    no, because I is not the subject. So it is, "They appear to be smarter than me." You only use I when you are the subject, but in tis case, "They" is the subject.

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  • Mike replied on August 7, 2008

    You're assuming that correction is even required here.

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  • Nova replied on August 8, 2008

    I think that comma should be either a semicolon or a dash (though I'm not sure what the correct name for a "dash" is). More to the point, anyone who says "they appear smarter than I" is a pompous prick. Saying "they appear smarter than me" is, while technically incorrect, common enough that it's acceptable. So is "they appear smarter than I appear".

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  • ahmet replied on August 8, 2008

    as a man, i prefer skirts! hahaha

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  • sir jorge replied on August 8, 2008

    i'm in the wrong business.

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  • malaga replied on August 8, 2008

    >rudy >I like pants down No rudy. Best is pants UP! ;-)

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  • Dan replied on August 8, 2008

    Wrong, drunko. Both are right, depending on whether an implicit "am" sits at the end of the sentence. But grammarbolshevik's sounds less pretentious, so he wins.

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  • df replied on August 8, 2008

    Uh, no. I + he + she, me + him + her. You'd say "They appear smarter than him," so you'd also say "smarter than me." Of course, "They appear smarter than I" is also valid, but that's really "They appear smarter than I [appear]."

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  • df replied on August 8, 2008

    As Rich said, in British English (which, by the way, is not necessarily "real" English*), "pants" means underwear. *I am British, by the way, not American.

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  • rev. archibald gusse replied on August 8, 2008

    what a big rant about pants! – i change mine only when they stick to the wall …

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  • Christine replied on August 8, 2008

    If I was this student, I'd find it funny. I know that if the oral presentation I gave for my French GCSE which caused the teacher to nearly fall off her seat ended up on the Internet, I'd wander around for the next month with a smile on my face.

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  • Donald, Scotland replied on August 8, 2008

    oh those hilarious foreigners! Abream plaut, do you have the student's permission to post that, leaving their name in? I agree with some comments that this is disrespectful. And if you think i'm a miserable git, then fair enough.

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  • Walter replied on August 8, 2008

    don't be a square

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  • A & N replied on August 8, 2008

    To begin with, some of you need to get a sense of humor. Teaching is hard work, so you have to find humor where you can. Quite frankly, I don't consider leaving a student's first name in to be "disrespectful." And for the love of god, if you're not amused by this, I wouldn't recommend visiting engrish.com.

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  • 774 Vigilante replied on August 8, 2008

    A & N, you are a class A idiot. it's not about getting a sense of humor when you post it up on the internet fool. Teachers have a professional responsibility and all this guy does is bring that level of professionalism down in the name of humor. To post their homework even if it seems harmless shows a lack of good judgement as well as a total disregard for their students. Do you have children? How would you feel if their teacher took their mistake filled homework with funny remarks about those mistakes and posted it up on the internet for everyone to see? Would you think it is funny if that was your child even if the teacher felt it was harmless? Just because this is ESL doesn't give a teacher the license to use it as comedy material on the internet. BTW Abram if you are reading this, I'm documenting and collecting all of these postings related to this from your blog and sending them off to MEXT so that they can decide if you are infact violating any teacher-student confidentiality policies at the school you are teaching at.

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  • *** replied on August 8, 2008

    Who gives a shit about the minor errors in grammar? Holy mother of God, it's just the internet.

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  • who cares replied on August 8, 2008

    Good God, Vigilante. Lighten up…

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  • Sarcasm, if you coul replied on August 8, 2008

    Yeah! You're an idiot, idiot.

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  • Morgan replied on August 8, 2008

    Ahaha this gave me a good laugh. I'm going to live in another counry for a few months soon and barely speak the language. I'm HOPING for some hilarious mis-translation, if only to break the ice. If this was my kid, me, or my student, no doubt I would post it on the internet myself.

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  • Trudy replied on August 8, 2008

    Yeah seriously. With as many jokes there are for us, it's not a big deal. buy a sense of humor at wal mart or something.

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  • Isa replied on August 9, 2008

    Hehe, very cute.

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  • d replied on August 9, 2008

    Where else can we bike-shed endlessly? At our friends or spouse? A fast path to loneliness if you ask me. Metacomplaining is also good for an outlet.

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  • Tilly replied on August 9, 2008

    I have heard people from other countries talk about how confusing the English language is. After reading all of the comments so far, I can agree. Even people born in an English speaking country/or countries do not agree on proper usage of words, or punctuation.

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  • Ben replied on August 9, 2008

    Surely it ought to be girls'… Don't beat yourself up about it – you'd only have got in wrong anyway

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  • Circles replied on August 9, 2008

    By the way, Australia also calls soccer football and vice versa… But we know its wrong.

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  • Wolfie Rankin replied on August 10, 2008

    In Australia, a common joke dating back generations is about the "Penis Butter" and "Vaginamite" [Vegemite] which are commonly spread on toast, of course…. but never together. ;)

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  • John Brown replied on August 10, 2008

    Correct.

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  • Ernie replied on August 10, 2008

    it would appear teaching english in japland is a little more amusing than espana…

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  • BoD replied on August 10, 2008

    The student's name was not relieved was it?

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  • Julie replied on August 10, 2008

    This reminds me of a Taiwanese pen pal I had last year. It was part of English class. She would write the strangest things. I’m not going to quote her but some of it kind of freaked me out.

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  • Lane. replied on August 10, 2008

    Actually, "They appear smarter than he [appears]" is right. It would be incorrect if you used "him" instead of "he". And you can't swap out "I" and "me" in any old sentence. One is a subject, and one's an object. I only say this because you sound a little condescending yourself.

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  • Bobrick42 replied on August 11, 2008

    I assume you have children from the condescending tone you have used, and I bet you're a right barrel of laughs as a parent. My Dad used to belly laugh at all sorts of stupid things I wrote in my homework, then have a good giggle with the next door neighbour over the wall about it too! Has it crossed your mind that this student, who i am assuming is not a child due to the content, could be fully aware that this is on the internet, and maybe gave his permission? I think it's more of a shame that this content isn't appreciated by people like Vigilante, who would much rather threaten to jeopardise a man's career than press that X in the top right of the screen. The internet's a big place fella, i'm sure you can find something as small minded as you are.

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  • Lex replied on August 11, 2008

    I suggest none of you consider teaching abroad.

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  • scorange replied on August 11, 2008

    If you don't fix the grammar we have now, eventually no one will care. For the few people that do care, they will have to translate the nonsense into a legible sentence.

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  • Saoirse replied on August 11, 2008

    I think people call whatever type of football (there are many types) is played most in their country fotball, while calling the rest by their actual names. That's not very clear, so let me explain. England's football = soccer America's football = American Football Ireland's football = Gaelic Feel free to correct my grammar or my opinion if you wish. I will laugh at you.

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  • Sam Lockart replied on August 11, 2008

    We all love pants!

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  • Sam Lockart replied on August 11, 2008

    I love being Australian.

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  • topcat3000 replied on August 11, 2008

    Hello, my neme is Suguru. (Hello, my name is Suguru.) I will talk about pants. (I am going to speak about underware.) We put it on every day (We put them on every day.) I am putting on the boxer pants. (I am putting on boxer shorts) Pants are important things. (Underware are important items.) It get excited when girl's pants are seen. (people often get excited when women's underware is seen.) Am I abnormal? (Am I abnormal?) Pants are man's romances. (Underware is often a male fantasy) Does the teacher like it? (Do you, as the teacher appreciate this? Thank you. (Thank you. ) uk english .

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  • cheneyluvr replied on August 12, 2008

    Hello. My name is George W. Bush and I don't appreciate you posting my memoirs here.

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  • we know what he mean replied on August 12, 2008

    GRAMMAR NAZIS!!! GRAMMAR NAZIS!!! GRAMMAR NAZIS!!!

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  • Andreas replied on August 13, 2008

    I agree. At least have the decency to take away his name.

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