Photo by i:txhar
With cheerfully mercenary taxi drivers, unpredictable traffic, and a Super Mario Kart approach to the art of driving, you never know what to expect.
Taking a taxi in Cairo is the Egyptian equivalent of Russian Roulette.
You’re going to need nerves of steel, plus a little bit of luck, if you want to arrive at your destination with life, limb and wallet all intact.
Appearances are everything
There are no meters, and no set fares, so the drivers charge as much as they can. Exploiting tourists has understandably been raised to an art form – a sort of legalized, semi-consensual mugging – so you want to appear as integrated into the local culture as possible.
Photo by storozhenko
Think about how you are dressed when you go out. In general, the fewer clothes you are wearing, the higher the fare will be.
Bermuda shorts and a muscle vest never look cool, so why pay extra to wear them?
Most importantly, lose the bottle of water.
No, really! Nothing screams “tourist” so loudly as a foreigner clutching a bottle of mineral water to his (or her) chest like a travel comfort blanket.
At the very least, bury it in your bag. And it helps if your bag actually looks like a bag, rather than a strap-tastic day pack with multiple-pocket-disorder that, let’s face it, you wouldn’t be seen dead with back home.
Finding a taxi in Cairo is never a problem.
They patrol the streets of the city like ravenous mechanical sharks, seeking out easy prey.
Photo by tronics
Flag down a taxi by raising your hand slightly, as if you are bidding at auction.
Don’t shout and wave your arms: you are not on a Hollywood film set, and the locals only shout when they are talking to someone who is standing right next to them.
Greet the driver through the window with as confident a “salaamu alaykum” (peace be upon you) as you can muster, and just state the general district of Cairo you want to go to. You can be more specific when you are nearer your destination.
If the driver’s happy to take the fare, he’ll flick you a nod or a grunt whilst pulling away, so jump in quickly. Women should avoid sitting next to the driver, unless you want him to think you have a different sort of ride in mind.
Smoke and mirrors
To survive the journey with only minimal psychological damage, you will need both the patience and the fatalism of a saint.
You’ll spend most of the ride spluttering and wheezing your way through the inevitably gridlocked Cairo traffic, but when a gap does open up, you’ll career through it like a kamikaze rally driver on crank.
Lane markings and traffic lights are treated as irrelevant urban art installations, and rules of the road as nothing more than a quaint rumour.
Most drivers think indicating direction is a sign of weakness, and only use their brakes as a last resort.
They use their horns, however, with passion and commitment: like a cacophony of bats that avoid bumping into things by constantly squeaking.
Photo by xiaojiecha
Your driver will smoke, and he will talk on his mobile phone.
He’ll lean out of the car to abuse other drivers, yet he’ll manage to look you in the eye whilst asking the most intrusive personal questions.
He’ll also thoroughly examine you using his multiple interior mirrors. Ladies, watch your angles!
To cope with all this, you need to adopt the insha’Allah (“God willing”) approach to life.
The insha’Allah world view says that everything that happens on Earth is God’s will.
Even if you are hurtling the wrong way down a one way street, while your taxi driver simultaneously texts his wife and grills you about yours, there is nothing you can do about it.
Your story has already been written, so just relax.
Photo by zozo2k3
Failing this, tool up with some ear plugs and an eye mask, and try to ride it all out in the same way you would a bad acid trip.
Payment
There are two schools of thought on this. One, is that you should negotiate the fare before you even get in the car. This is what most tourists do, but it’s hard to get a fair price this way.
Alternatively, if you know roughly what the journey should cost, then it’s better to pay at the end. Be sure to err on the side of generosity, and make sure you have the correct change. The driver certainly won’t give you any of his.
There is a certain technique to this. Jump out of the cab, and pass the money back in through the window. You should aim to pay with as grubby and disorganised a bundle of notes as possible.
Destinations
By the time your driver realizes that he has lost the opportunity to scam you, you’ll be long gone.
Now’s the time to give thanks to your higher power of choice that you survived the journey in one piece.
Take a life-affirming breath of exhaust fumes and exotica, savour the contrast between the car horns and the Call to Prayer, and set off to explore the boundaries of your new-found insha’Allah approach to life.
You might even take that bottle of water out of your bag.
Community Connection
Nick Rowlands is Matador’s resident Egypt expert.
For a much more chill side of Egypt, check out Benjamin Orbach’s guide to Basata, a peaceful beach town on the Sinai.
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25 Comments... join the discussion!
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This is a great article. Though at times I wish it was sarcastic, I know its not. I have yet to get to Cairo, however I have definitely been in similar circumstances in other countries. When I travel to Egypt, I will take this advice.
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Once, running late for a flight home from Cairo, my taxi popped a tire on the way to the airport. It took more than a little cash to get us going again.
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Brilliant! Multiple-pocket-disorder, ha. Love this post, Nick.
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Thanks guys. Wish I could say I was exaggerating, but I’m not!
Tim, I can relate. The first taxi I ever got in Cairo, the tyre burst! Being green, I assumed this was normal, so wasn’t really worried. Having been here a while, I now know it IS normal, and the only thing I worry about, is why I don’t seem to worry about anything any more.
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“the only thing I worry about, is why I don’t seem to worry about anything any more. ”
ha!
Faith in Allah is all you need my friend.
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I remember getting a rollocking for not paying tourist prices on a taxi trip to Arcadia and being beeped and shouted at all the way down the street. Good times!
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Hahaha me too, and at City Stars… I’m sure I was with you that day!
I also remember the time when we got in a cab and the driver says ‘ah mishkella, um.. mafee ..(something)?’, and we didn’t understand so we said ‘mafish mushkella’… then realised he was trying to tell us he had no breaks…. ‘um.. mushkella’…. think we should get out!
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another brilliant tell-it-as-it-is article Nick. well done. for a couple of minutes i was back there (cairo) once again. i’m just wishing i had sought more advice from you before returning this year. after reading this i can see all the mistakes i made. so bring on 2010 – look out cairo cabbies, janice will be armed with Nick-wisdom and knowledge and ready to beat you at your own games!!!
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A very funny article Nick. It brings back fond memories (although not neccessarily at the time ). If only I was a video games programmer. I would make my fortune with ‘Cairo Taxicab Chaos’
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This is such a great piece! I really enjoyed.
Interesting about the two schools of thought… I always thought the first was a better idea – you can always get into an argument about the price, after all.
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Glad you enjoyed!
Most people do negotiate first, and I would always recommend that people who aren’t that confident or don’t really know the fair price do so. With experience, though, and especially if you speak Arabic and are used to dealing with taxis, the latter option is better for a few reasons. Firstly, you can pay a fair price and go. When the driver sees you’ve given him 7 LE rather than rounding it up to 10 (for example), he knows that you know the going rate, and so often won’t bother trying to demand more. Second, you can adjust for the traffic. I give more if it’s busy and the journey took a long time, but there’s no way of telling in advance.
Horses for courses, and people find a method that works.
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Hilarious and, I’m sure, accurate observations. When I visit I’ll have to remember to leave the shorts in the suitcase. I’ve never had to pay more to wear them before.
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I have to lose the water bottle?? Ack!
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Awesome!
So funny and so accurate.
Especially love the strap-tastic day pack with multiple-pocket-disorder reference and agree that no-one should be allowed to wear Bermuda shorts and a muscle vests in public and deserve to be penalised if they do!
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So true! I think your next one should be about how to survive crossing a street in Cairo…from my experience it was comparable to playing Frogger. I was the frog.
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Thanks for all the comments, people!
Crossing the street does feel like Frogger, Samantha, that’s very true! As with most things in Egypt, a healthy dose of insha’Allah (whether you believe or not) is the only way to deal with it!
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this was accurate and hilarious….thanks for the great travel writing. true, you get inured to it the longer you’re here.
the sad (depends on your perspective) thing is the ‘rustic’ cabs are going to leave the road soon. seems the govm’t is going to give cabbies an ultimatum — off the road if your car is 20+ years old. the loans they’ll offer these (literally) poor cabbies will include a way to ‘pay’ through advertising on the side of the car. just one MORE nauseating advertising eyesore!↵ -
I remember when I saw my first new white cab, a few weeks ago. I was waiting for a taxi, and this shiny white cab pulled up. I’m like, WHAT is that? I’m not getting in that, it’s too new – it can’t be a taxi! The funny thing is, all their meters are already “broken”!
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mm, convenient that………… perhaps a strategically applied screwdriver??? old fare charging habits die hard.
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Good advice about knowing how much it costs and giving the money after you get out of the cab. We were told that little tip before going, and it worked like a charm. Never had a problem. Another great way we got around was in the shared minivans. The driver tried to scam us on the price, but the other passengers in the van wouldn’t let him get away with it. They told us the actual price and what to pay. Amazing!
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That’s interesting, and heartening, to hear that the other passengers in the service taxis wouldn’t let the driver rip you off. The experience I’ve had is that while most Egyptians are super-honest, many of them don’t want to get involved in what they see as foreigners’ business. Luck of the draw I guess. Brings up another good point, though, which is that if you don’t know the price for something (be it a bus ride or a cup of coffee), a good thing to do is to ask the locals that are hanging around what the going rate is (just make sure the vendor isn’t around, because if he was planning on trying to rip you off, he’s not going to take kindly to people helping you out with the correct price).
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Hehehe.. as a Cairo-boy, I must confirm.
Though whether you’re in shorts or otherwise makes little difference. Tourists still look like tourists – their ‘integration’ level is assessed based on how good their arabic is.
Re: your last comment – about asking the locals what the price for the ride is – you beat me to it.
I’ll be passing on this article to my expat friends!!
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1) negotiating the price before dont stop the driver to ask for more mony at the end
2) the white cabs i used have always the counter on. but aware that they are reset at the begin and you dont pay the ride before – also look at the speed. i dont know how it works exactly but i have 3 differnet rides and 3 differnet prices 18 / 23 / 32. the 18 could be the normal price … with the 23 i remember i forgot to check if he reset the counter. and the 32LE driver try to cheat me 2 times (at start he reset the counter ony because i requested it) and then he set up the night fare – and i give him only 25
3) street crossing is like frogger – but easy. every driver knows that people crossing the street and they are not schocked like in europe – so they just see how you walk and drive around you. the only mistake you can do is to change your direction and go back. just go forward and dont be scared
i always walk on the street near the cars like the egyts and not on the foot-walk and never feeled dangerous.
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