A Day in the Life of an Au Pair in Breukelen, The Netherlands

11/16/09  Print This Post Print This Post    14 Comments   Popular   Written by Nancy Harder
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Feature and article photos: author Photo: thms.nl

7:15am:

Wake up. Huddle under the covers as long as possible. Hear the DeBruijn family downstairs getting ready for the day. Senseo coffee is brewing and dull light stretches through the windows. Throw on jeans and black sweater from the day before.

Mr. and Mrs. DeBruijn depart for work, leaving me and their two kids, Lotje (7) and Meno (4), to get ready for the school day. A ritual commences: snack pack, lemonade, shoes, scarves, jackets, gloves, hats. We each get our own bikes out of the garage.

8am:

Drop off Lotje and Meno at preschool and primary school. Greet neighbors with “Goedemorgen!” Make my breakfast of bread and eggs. Catch up on e-mail to friends and family back in North Carolina. Shower and straighten the kitchen, living room, and kids’ rooms.

9:30am:

Practice piano. Today: scales, Schumann’s “Aufschwung” from Fantasiestücke, Bach “Prelude and Fugue in C# Minor”, from Well-Tempered Clavier, Book I.

Possession of a piano was an important criterion in selecting an au pair family. When I return to the US I will resume my piano performance degree. Mrs. DeMaat, the next door neighbor, waves through the window; she’s told me she loves hearing Bach.

12pm:

Pick the kids up from school for their lunch break. Prepare fresh bread, butter, and hagelslag (chocolate sprinkles), a typical lunch. We eat and converse in mangled Dutch and English.

1pm:

Lotje, Meno, and I ride our bikes back to school. I head to the market to buy groceries for dinner. Tonight I’ll cook shoarma (shawarma). I buy meat, pita bread, lettuce, cucumber, and toum (garlic sauce). The cashier, an older woman, smiles silently as we load my cloth bag. She knows my Dutch ends after “I’m doing well, thanks.”

1:30pm:

I drop off the groceries and pedal ten minutes north to see Magda. She makes more money working as an au pair than she would back in Poland with her Masters in psychology. We drink tea and discuss philosophy and boyfriends.

2:30pm:

Pick the kids up from school. Take them to swimming lessons or back home. In the warmer months we take snacks and blankets to the backyard. More often the coldness keeps us inside and we draw or play games. The kids aren’t allowed to watch tv. I help Lotje with her piano practice and think it would be so much easier to help if I spoke better Dutch.

4:30pm:

Mrs. DeBruijn returns home and I return to my attic bedroom to catch the latter half of Oprah, a connection to the US. The sun sets and the darkness inspires reflection.

5:30pm:

I cook shoarma for the family, although Mr. DeBruijn is rarely home in time for dinner. I converse with the mom in English about her day. The kids talk to the mother in rapid Dutch.

6:30pm:

Salad plates from dinner are left for Mr. DeBruijn to clean. I bundle up and head to teach a voice lesson to a teenage girl nearby. She speaks fluent English and wants to learn songs from American Idol. We talk about more than voice as she confides the career dreams her mother disapproves of.

7:30pm:

After our lesson I stop by the village pub to meet Magda and other au pairs. We drink a Dommelsch pilsener, commiserating about our days. I am the only American, the only au pair choosing to work in the Netherlands for enrichment versus necessity. This makes me feel guilty and grateful.

9:30pm:

Bike home. The night is mysterious and soft. Burning firewood scents the air. I reflect on tomorrow as the wind cuffs my face. I wonder if the kids are asleep and how parents do what they do. Even my part-time parenting demands energy and patience.

10:30 pm:

I wave goodnight to Mr. and Mrs. DeBruijn downstairs. The attic feels comfortable, almost like home. Elliott Smith plays on my ipod and I journal in my moleskine. The day is done.


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About the Author

Nancy Harder

Nancy Harder is a freelance writer, pianist, singer, and photographer with an affinity for holistic health and observing different cultures. When not capturing paradigms and reflections through different mediums, she is exploring her practice of yoga and meditation. Check out Nancy's blog, Nancy the Gnomette.

14 Comments... join the discussion!

  • Julie replied on November 16, 2009

    A country where one eats chocolate sprinkles for lunch and where no TV for kids is probably normal seems heavenly to me.

    So happy to see your byline here, Nancy!

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  • Candice replied on November 16, 2009

    Dreamy! “I am the only American, the only au pair choosing to work in the Netherlands for enrichment versus necessity. This makes me feel guilty and grateful.” –> Funny, I never thought about that.

    Awesome job, Nancy!

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  • Abbie replied on November 16, 2009

    I really enjoyed reading this – sounds like a sweet job :)

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  • James replied on November 16, 2009

    Love the article. Great to see another side of Holland outside of A’Dam.

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  • neha replied on November 17, 2009

    Gorgeous writing. So many lines here jumped out and made me smile.

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  • Hal Amen replied on November 17, 2009

    Wow, piano performance degree! That’s sweet.

    Like Candice, my favorite line: “This makes me feel guilty and grateful.”

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  • Nancy Harder replied on November 17, 2009

    Wow-thanks guys for all the lovely comments! Glad I could share part of my life.

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  • Toni replied on November 17, 2009

    I, too, was an American living in The Netherlands (Amstelveen) as an au pair. I can totally understand your statement “I am the only American, the only au pair choosing to work in the Netherlands for enrichment versus necessity. This makes me feel guilty and grateful.”

    Great to hear that other people’s stories are as colored and enriching as the adventures my friends and I shared! And I still get to remember my Dutch from time to time…..so fun!

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  • ~sarah~ replied on November 17, 2009

    Delicious writing my dear! I love so much of this article! The simplicity, sincerity, and humility of your sentences make me eager to read more! Gezondheid!

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  • david miller replied on November 17, 2009

    sweet

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  • Cathey replied on November 17, 2009

    Oh, this was great! So easy and fun to read, with simple but moving notes. And any shout-out to Elliott Smith rocks in my book. Awesome job.

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  • Nancy Harder replied on November 18, 2009

    @Toni: I’ve never met another Netherlands-based American au pair. Right on. Would love to share experiences sometime.

    @sarah: Thanks so much!

    @David: Thanks man.

    @Cathey: Thanks Cathey. Glad to connect with another Elliott Smith fan.

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  • Kallen replied on February 8, 2010

    We are coming closer and closer to the day where a university degree will no longer mean anything. Your friend with the master’s degree in Poland hasn’t been the first time that I heard a situation like that.

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