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If you feel it’s more prevalent among “Japanese” or “American women” or whatever, then so you feel. But it’s not remotely a unique feature of ANY special group.

Sheesh.

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Just wanted to add a note on the term ‘enryo’. Enryo, or enryo/sasshi, refers to a communication form of Japan. You won’t encounter this 100% of the time, but it’s good to keep an eye out for it. In Japan people do not want to be seen as annoying or as a burden to others. So, be prepared to be expected to interpret more meaning from fewer words. For example, if a person says to you “Do you think it’s hot in here?” you wouldn’t simply say “Yea it is”, you would be expected to interpret it as a request to open the window or turn on the AC. The closest comparison we have in American culture can be seen in the way women will sometimes hint at what they want instead of outright saying it. A Japanese professor at my college had a great example that he used when explaining enryo/sasshi: say a couple are taking a road trip and the woman asks the man “Would you like to pull over at the next exit and get food?” The answer she would expect of him is: “(Yes/No), do you want food?” She doesn’t want to admit out loud that she’s hungry, but she expects him to be sensitive to her needs and not just his own. In Japan, this form of communication is more common, and it’s not just used by women, but also men. In the US the speaker is expected to do all the work of making their needs and expectations of others known, in Japan it’s the opposite. So pay close attention to all possible interpretations of what’s being said to you, or you may unwittingly be seen as not only insensitive to others, but also as kind of an idiot for not getting a hint that the locals would think is obvious. Hope this comes of some use to you.

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My observations : I did notice more enryo going on in Japan than I do here in the states, where most of us are more likely to grab at offers with a , “thanks”, without as much humbleness as in Japan. What do you think?

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In social situations, it can refer to common (universal?) human courtesies: refraining from jumping ahead of others; hesitating to impose on others; not grabbing at offers without first making humble demurrals; etc.

Important stuff in Japan, yes, but also pretty much anywhere.

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slurping _noodles_ is the only loud noise you should make while eating in Japan. Other sounds one might think of are consider as impolite as they are in western countries. Do not mistake Japan with China there…

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