Feature photo by kalandrakas. Photo above by kalandrakas
If you know these key Japanese customs, you’ll get closer to the locals and see beneath the surface of Japan.
1. Addressing Someone, Respect
Bowing is nothing less than an art form in Japan, respect pounded into children’s heads from the moment they enter school. For tourists, a simple inclination of the head or an attempt at a bow at the waist will usually suffice.
The duration and inclination of the bow is proportionate to the elevation of the person you’re addressing.
The duration and inclination of the bow is proportionate to the elevation of the person you’re addressing. For example, a friend might get a lightning-fast 30-degree bow; an office superior might get a slow, extended, 70-degree bow. It’s all about position and circumstance.
In addition to bowing, addressing someone properly is key. Just as a “Dr. Smith” might feel a little insulted if you were to refer to him as “Smith”, so would a Japanese if you do not attach the suffix “san” to their last name, or “sama” if you are trying to be particularly respectful.
Usually children are content with just their first names, but you can add the suffix “chan” for girls and “kun” for boys if you like.
2. Table Manners
Some simple bullet points here:
- If you’re with a dinner party and receive drinks, wait before raising the glass to your lips. Everyone will be served, and someone will take the lead, make a speech, raise his drink, and yell “kampai!” (cheers).
- You will receive a small wet cloth at most Japanese restaurants. Use this to wash your hands before eating, then carefully fold it and set it aside on the table. Do not use it as a napkin, or to touch any part of your face.
- Slurping noodles or making loud noises while eating is OK! In fact, slurping hot food like ramen is polite, to show you are enjoying it.
- You may raise bowls to your mouth to make it easier to eat with chopsticks, especially bowls of rice.
- Just before digging in, whether it be a seven-course dinner or a sample at a supermarket, it’s polite to say “itadakimasu” (I will receive).
3. No Tipping
There is no tipping in any situation in Japan – cabs, restaurants, personal care. To tip someone is actually a little insulting; the services you’ve asked for are covered by the price given, so why pay more?
If you are in a large area like Tokyo and can’t speak any Japanese, a waiter or waitress might take the extra money you happen to leave rather than force themselves to deal with the awkward situation of explaining the concept of no tipping in broken English.
Just remind yourself: a price is a price.
Photo by tavallai
4. Chopsticks
Depending on the restaurant you decide upon for that evening, you may be required to use chopsticks.
If for some reason you aren’t too adept with chopsticks, try to learn before passing through immigration. It’s really not that hard.
One false assumption among many Japanese that’s slowly being dispelled by time is the “uniqueness” of Japan. Japan is an island nation; Japan is the only country that has four seasons; foreigners can’t understand Japan; only Japanese can use chopsticks properly.
I cannot count the number of times I’ve been told I use Japanese chopsticks with skill and grace, despite the fact I’ve seen three-year-olds managing just as well.
If you’re dining with a Japanese, don’t be surprised if you receive a look of amazement at your ability to eat like a Japanese.
5. Thresholds
Take off your shoes at the entrance to all homes, and most businesses and hotels. Usually a rack will be provided to store your shoes, and pair of guest slippers will be sitting nearby; many Japanese bring a pair of indoor slippers just in case, though.
Never wear slippers when you need to step onto a tatami mat (used in most Japanese homes and hotels; the standard unit of measurement for area even today), and be careful to remove the toilet slippers waiting for you in the bathroom.
It is extremely bad form, for example, to reenter the main room of a house wearing slippers that have been running across dirty linoleum.
6. Masks
Photo by toestubber
SARS is long gone, though I did happen to see a “SARS Preparation Kit” during my brief stay in a Japanese hospital.
Nevertheless, sterilized masks, like the ones you’d see in the emergency room, are commonly used by salarymen, office ladies, and municipal workers to protect other people from their germs.
Rather sensible when you think about it, as masks do not protect the wearer so much as the ones around him. The reason could be anything from a slight cold to simply being worried about exposing other people; don’t let it concern you on your Japanese vacation.
7. Conformity
When groups of high school students in Japan were asked to identify the dangers facing children today, the majority agreed on the number one threat: individualism.
Japanese society is focused on the group. Western cultures are focused on the individual.
Does this mean that the Japanese are nothing more that worker bees in a vast hive of steel and concrete? Certainly not, but their presentation of such individual qualities are carefully calculated and given in doses.
Drawing attention to yourself as an individual is a huge no-no: don’t blow your nose in public, try to avoid eating while on the go, and don’t speak on your cell phone in crowded public areas like trains or buses.
The main problem with this is that foreigners simply can’t avoid standing out; we stick out like sore thumbs no matter how long we’ve been here, or how much we know about Japanese culture and society.
As a result, being in Japan gives foreigners the status of D-level celebrities: you’ll get glances, shouts for attention, calls to have pictures taken with people, requests for autographs (happened once to me on a southern island), and overall just more awareness of being a “stake that sticks out”.
8. Bathing
Photo by meganscheminske
Public bathhouses are alive and well in Japan.
Sento, or neighborhood bathhouses, can be found from the largest area in Shinjuku to a small town on the island of Shikoku.
Onsen, or hot springs, are very popular as weekend excursion resorts.
Unlike in western cultures, the Japanese bath is used after you have washed and rinsed, and feel like soaking in extra-hot water for 10, 20, 30 minutes. It’s an acquired taste to be sure, but can be very relaxing.
If you happen to be invited into a Japanese household, you will be given the honor of using the bath first, usually before dinner. Be extra careful so as to not dirty the water in any way; the sanctity of the ofuro (bath) is of utmost importance.
Take the time to visit a sento if you have the opportunity. These are places without barriers, without regard to skin color, age, or language… well, they are separated by sex with the exception of some mixed-bathing areas.
Lying in the hot water and slowly listening to my heart beat slow down is a time when I feel most attuned to Japanese culture.
9. Speaking English
Japanese will generally assume you are a native English speaker until you prove otherwise.
Japanese will generally assume you are a native English speaker until you prove otherwise. Even during a short visit, you’ll see:
-A group of schoolchildren in neatly pressed Prussian uniforms walking across the intersection, shouting “Hello! Hello! Herro!” as they assess your foreign features
-A random person just walking up to you and asking “Where are you from?”
Friendly? Certainly. But I can see how constant celebrity status might get confusing or frustrating for travelers who don’t speak English.
Although you may speak some or fluent Japanese, the default language of choice is English. Many Japanese will insist on using their own English language ability, however limited, to converse with foreigners, in spite of the fact that the person on the opposing end may have more knowledge of the local tongue.
10. Safety
Every Japanese person I have met warns me to be safe in my travels, to take care of my belongings. Every foreigner tells me not to worry, nothing can go wrong, nothing will be stolen. This may be based on individual experience, but there are other issues:
- The fear of crime in Japan is high, especially among Japanese citizens.
- Murders happen. I repeat, murders happen. People are attacked, robbed, assaulted, raped, beaten, and swindled
However, Japan’s low crime rate is evident when you see businessmen who have missed the last train sleeping outside on a park bench, or a group of 5-year-old boys walking by themselves for over a kilometer to make the starting bell at school.
Going to Japan?
Check out our humorous list of 10 Extraordinarily Useful Japanese Phrases.
Community Connection!
There are a bunch of cool Matador folks living in various parts of Japan. If you want the lowdown on teaching English, ask Abram or Stephanie.
If you’re looking for a photography outing in Asia, ask pro photographers Ryan Libre or Scott Lothes.
Wanna ride a wave? Ask Angie where the best surf spots in Japan are.
Wanna go hiking? Check out Tim’s definitive list of the top 10 hikes in Hokkaido.
About the Author
More By This Author
- A Day in the Life of an Expat in Kagoshima, Japan (11 comments)
- Expressions that Define Cultures (34 comments)
- How To Order Sushi Like A Ninja (29 comments)
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278 Comments... join the discussion!
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SO long ago I'm not sure why I'm responding lol except that this is sooo not my experience living in Nagoya and even less so in Tokyo. IF (and only if) there is not enough room for both of you, the Japanese (or at least Nagoyans) will generally play chicken with you (if in a group they will look you in the eye and do it, if alone they will look at the ground even if they've banged right into you lol, and I'm afraid I tend to lose and step into the gutter rather than do the shoulder bump which can be painful.
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Great post for people on their way. I will also add my experience that people wash their face, neck and whole head (if they are bald) with their wet towels, though. One really useful tip I'd add follows a commenter's addition: "If using chopsticks to get food from a serving dish, use them backwards (the fat ends). It's considered more sanitary." This is advice business people are often given but we were told (in time, thank goodness because so many had done it in the influx of ICTs we were in lol ) it is actually considered very rude. The Japanese mostly eat "family style" with all dishes available to all at the table (and usually served in a sequence which can catch you by surprise if everyone has ordered a different dish just for themselves lol) and everyone expects to share the dishes. To turn your hashi around suggests you think your dinner companions have some kind of germs you don't want to catch …
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i must admit i find the education of japan a bit much, but i love it.. they are taught at a young age to strive for greatness, doing it 110% effort and with a smile.. maybe if it was toned down a bit they could use it in other countrys..
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great article! you covered a lot of the basics for first-timers and i am sure that they will help a lot of people. Plus, it was nice for an otaku (also known as an anime and manga freak) like me to get some more vocab. thanks!
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This is great. I may have a chance to japan in 3 months later to study. This is very useful for me. and thanks. Japanese students are under high presuure and strain to succeed and get good grades. see u soon Nihongo. Sinnasan
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Who will forget about gifts?!?!?!?!?
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Hey this was really helpful. Im 15 and hopefully will be learning Japanese within the next few years.
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That's because you were in Nagoya, land of the most obnoxious Japanese. In other places you don't get that.
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I fins this humerous having been living here for 2 years as well
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Great list. Some of these are a little outdated and as mentioned slightly stereotypical, but very helpful for those visiting Japan.
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Stereotypical… perhaps. But not in the least outdated.
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thank you for your useful information.
i,m saharnaz from iran_tehran↵ -
As much as Eastern culture does promote the “general good” of the population, individualism is not a threat to eastern society. Look at the fashion, movies, any cultural product from MODERN japan and youll see that they do promote the individual. Perhaps instead you shouldnt overtly lord over the 60s American mentality of being superior, just treat them as how you would want to be treated. Respectfully.
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Very stereotypical! It is nooooot proper to fold back your napkin rather than place it under your plate in a staight fashion do noy fold it or it is a symbol that they are not well at folding they take their jobs very seriously!
WAS BORN IN JAPAN!↵ -
In most towns in Japan the most dangerous part of town will be where ever you are, you are the danger there for the most part.
If you want to wow your hosts or Japanese friends, buy flowers for them, Japanese culture is very big on flowers and it is the norm for visitors to a home to bring flowers for the host.↵ -
“…you are the danger there for the most part.”
What the heck does that mean?
“Japanese culture is very big on flowers and it is the norm for visitors to a home to bring flowers for the host.”
It is not the norm here in Japan for guests to bring flowers for the host. Japanese culture is not particularly “big” on flowers. Flowers are a good, safe, appreciated gift for a host in Japan, as in pretty much anywhere in the world, but that’s all.
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日本人さん、
I don’t consider individualism a threat to modern Japan – the point is many Japanese youth still do, as I mentioned quoting a survey.
I don’t know quite what you mean by “60’s American mentality of being superior”… Americans have always believed they’re superior (which, of course, they’re not). If you got the impression I was promoting that in this article, then I apologize.
Being treated “respectfully”… yes, I agree.
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Turner san,
I agree with you, expecially Item 9, “Speaking English.”
I feel sorry to see Japanese people often speak to people from abroad, even if they speak Japanese. This is like using foreign people as English language teachers. This is not good, and I think the Japanese must understand the feelings of people from abroad.Ichiro Nakano
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“Slurping noodles or making loud noises while eating is OK! In fact, slurping hot food like ramen is polite, to show you are enjoying it.”
slurping _noodles_ is the only loud noise you should make while eating in Japan. Other sounds one might think of are consider as impolite as they are in western countries. Do not mistake Japan with China there…
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Enryo too. Enryo doesn’t translate into English but,I think it means to decline an offer at least two times before the other person insists again. Then, you can accept their offering with a thanks. This usually goes for those who are above you in rank.
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@Pele: “Enryo” (遠慮) has meanings of (social) restraint or reserve; these are fine English translations. It has no set meaning of “decline an offer two times”.
In social situations, it can refer to common (universal?) human courtesies: refraining from jumping ahead of others; hesitating to impose on others; not grabbing at offers without first making humble demurrals; etc.
Important stuff in Japan, yes, but also pretty much anywhere.
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Traveler,
Thanks for the info. My description was too general, and too mathematic–enryo has no numerical formula.
My observations : I did notice more enryo going on in Japan than I do here in the states, where most of us are more likely to grab at offers with a , “thanks”, without as much humbleness as in Japan. What do you think?
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Hi minna-san,
Just wanted to add a note on the term ‘enryo’. Enryo, or enryo/sasshi, refers to a communication form of Japan. You won’t encounter this 100% of the time, but it’s good to keep an eye out for it. In Japan people do not want to be seen as annoying or as a burden to others. So, be prepared to be expected to interpret more meaning from fewer words. For example, if a person says to you “Do you think it’s hot in here?” you wouldn’t simply say “Yea it is”, you would be expected to interpret it as a request to open the window or turn on the AC. The closest comparison we have in American culture can be seen in the way women will sometimes hint at what they want instead of outright saying it. A Japanese professor at my college had a great example that he used when explaining enryo/sasshi: say a couple are taking a road trip and the woman asks the man “Would you like to pull over at the next exit and get food?” The answer she would expect of him is: “(Yes/No), do you want food?” She doesn’t want to admit out loud that she’s hungry, but she expects him to be sensitive to her needs and not just his own. In Japan, this form of communication is more common, and it’s not just used by women, but also men. In the US the speaker is expected to do all the work of making their needs and expectations of others known, in Japan it’s the opposite. So pay close attention to all possible interpretations of what’s being said to you, or you may unwittingly be seen as not only insensitive to others, but also as kind of an idiot for not getting a hint that the locals would think is obvious. Hope this comes of some use to you.
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Enryo is “a communication form of Japan”? That doesn’t even make sense. Again, the word means “restraint” or “reserve” in social interactions, and it’s a universal component of good manners in ALL human societies.
If you feel it’s more prevalent among “Japanese” or “American women” or whatever, then so you feel. But it’s not remotely a unique feature of ANY special group.
Sheesh.
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Great tips to know the next time I travel to Japan.
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this was very hellpfull thank you i needed the info for my project
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What do you mean toilets? I’m leaving for Japan in 3 weeks and I need to be aware of this situation.
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Sounds very Canadian!! Lol!
A Japanese professor at my college had a great example that he used when explaining enryo/sasshi: say a couple are taking a road trip and the woman asks the man “Would you like to pull over at the next exit and get food?” The answer she would expect of him is: “(Yes/No), do you want food?” She doesn’t want to admit out loud that she’s hungry, but she expects him to be sensitive to her needs and not just his own.
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I was surprised that in the section on chopsticks it was not mentioned that it is considered rude to leave your chopsticks sticking out of the rice in your bowl. When you are not using the chopsticks you should lie them across the top of the bowl or on chopstick rests if they’re provided.
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Great article! Should have read it before my trip to Japan!
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Sweet, thanks a bundle, there’s a bunch of usefull information here.
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Slow down. Watch what others do. Let others demonstrate first. Hesitate. Open eyes, shut mouth. SLOW DOWN! Watch for clenched jaw muscles. (Indicates anger.) Refuse all offers – usually they are just “polite”. If the offer is repeated, the second time you COULD accept, but it is better to wait for a third. Gets complicated if the Japanese has a lot of experience with foreigners – he/she may not offer again, knowing our lack of reticence accepting! SLOW DOWN! Smiles are masks. They can mean anything. Smiles often DO NOT mean happiness. Do NOT bow to children or maids (a nod is OK). “Play chicken”? Unconsciously we bend slightly to avoid shoulder bumping. The distance various according to the culture. And men may expect woman to move further. DO NOT JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS! Check meanings carefully – especially for important things. Repeat back what you think they mean, using different words if possible. Upright chopsticks in bowls of rice is found at funerals. Japanese are forgiving of foreigner’s “rudeness” – they won’t shout or strike you – you just may never see them again. Japanese often plan things far in advance – don’t expect them to be available on short notice. “Hai” means “Uh, huh – I’m listening.” NOT yes. SLOW DOWN! Copy what people of your same age-group, educational level, etc. do. DO NOT ACCEPT GIFTS unless you are prepared to commit yourself to being in the position of owing a favor. A favor is a favor – and a small favor received may bind you to a big favor returned. Chiisana shinsetsu, ooki no oseiwa. Gambatte!
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Very interesting and informative. Japanese culture is unique.
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you are asian
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Southpark is quite funny but some of the scenes maybe a bit too morbid even for adults.;’.
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Well this is what scares me to death about going to Japan. While I understand somewhat the whole group concept. It does concern me that I may do something unintentionally which gets me into trouble. As the author mentioned no matter how hard you try or how much you learn it is going to get you into trouble. The very fact I am a foreigner automatically puts me at a disadvantage. I am sorry but you can only change so much. There is more to the whole individual mentality then just being an individual. Whether the Japanese believe this or not but the fact you are standing there makes you an individual. It isn’t just about what you think or how you react which can be very daunting no doubt. How do you communicate with people if you can’t put forward an individual thought? If you are hungry and want to eat something and someone else does not then do you not eat? If someone asks me something do I say whatever you were thinking is what I am thinking as well. If someone I am with gets drunk do I do as well?
That in and of itself is a scary one which one should avoid at all costs. You don’t want to get yourself into those type of situations as I have heard. Japanese misbehave and you get blamed for it as though it was your fault. See my point with all of this. As I had stated earlier how can you possibly interact with people if you don’t at some point convey at least a response? How can society function without this even in it’s simplest forms? Are the Japanese so Borg like that any interaction is basically like talking to a mirror? I am sorry to be the one here to be on the negative but am I over reacting or not? Being a yard stick or circus animal scares me to death as how do I react. Why can’t I be a fishing line instead? This is not what I would have had in mind when traveling to Japan. Look honey it can do tricks! I am being sarcastic of coarse but how do you guys do it without losing your minds? I have even heard that many places like hotels, eating establishments, Stores, Clubs etc are banned to foreigners? Is this true and if so where do you go? Listen I am not trying to say that you shouldn’t respect the country you are in and abide by it’s laws and customs. That I would try to do to the best of my ability.
Although when you can’t even function as a human being Then how can you possibly do anything else without causing mass hysteria. Are foreigners hated that much there? If so why even bother going. I guess I can see why now Japan ranks among the lowest in the world in tourism. To bad as I really really would have enjoyed going there but not if people don’t want me there. One last point i that as many have stated here you can’t expect to get to know any culture without first experiencing it first. Japan in contract can’t expect all foreigners are going to know everything there is to know about Japan either. So if something is taken the wrong way it likely was miss-communication rather then someone outright be rude or disrespectful. Is this just a knee jerk reaction or do the Japanese actually expect foreigners are going to know this. At this post states the 10 things you must know before going to Japan. Is 10 really enough as it doesn’t seem 100 things you must know would even be enough.
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Here is what this post won’t say. Japan doesn’t like foreigners period. People are better off just staying home. If someone really wants to go you better like study for years in advance so to make sure you don’t offend anyone. It just isn’t worth it otherwise. I have had many friends travel there that couldn’t even get a hotel or eat most places as they didn’t allow foreigners. Japan 14th century mentality doesn’t hold water these days. How are you expected to ever get past your differences when you don’t even try. Why Japan is so against that mindset is beyond me but each to their own I guess. Just don’t expect to much when traveling there as you might get along a lot better. Keep you head low and don’t make eye contact with anyone. This way people can’t judge you if you don’t see them. They will still judge you but at least you will feel better about it. Respect only applies to Japanese people as they only respect their own. Don’t expect you are going to being treated the same. As the author said you are a yardstick or below a human being. You don’t have rights and you never will. Be respectful but don’t expect it in return. Just better to keep quit and not cause any trouble. Stick with other foreigners as the Japanese won’t interact with you. That distrust foreigners anyway and you won’t get very far trying to ask questions. If this doesn’t sound like the most friendly vacation spot it isn’t. Japan has a long ways to go before it will ever be a vacation destination. Although if you are up for a major challenge of epic proportions then by all means give it a go. You will need all he luck you can get.
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John is all wrong – I have been to Japan to visit before and I’m going back tomorrow. It’s a great place, the people are extraordinarily friendly, and even go out of their way to be friendly and forgiving.
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“You will never ever know what Japan really is if you do not experience and live with there culture and ways. We are now in a modern period of time and even the poorest country are already civilized, how much more in JAPAN? Just remember that whenever you go we are all similar as a human being with heart, feelings, education and pretty much sure there are always good but i think less bad people. What matters most is visit the place and enjoy, and as a reminder always remember the golden rule .”Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” (Matthew 7:12, Matthew 22:39, Luke 6:31)
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japan is not the only country in the world that has 4 seasons i live in iceland and we have 4 seasons here to vetur sumar vor og haust
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Re: Tips
When staying at a traditional Japanese inn, you DO tip your room maid.Re: Foreigners in Japan
I have never felt more welcomed and catered to as I did in my trips to Japan. The Japanese are great hosts/hostesses. If you are polite and not demanding, you will have a great experience and be treated well. Isn’t that pretty much universal?Re: Safety
Tokyo is very safe, especially compared to most other large cities. I accidentally left a bag containing a lot of cash and our passports in the hotel parking lot. Came back an hour later and found that it was turned in to the hotel front desk with nothing missing.↵ -
Hello! I work at the MU International Center in Missouri, Columbia. I am making a brochure for students going to Japan, and I wanted a little bit of extra information than just the general. I really liked the detailed information provided in your site. It is great! I hope I can get to Japan some day
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I am Japanese and these listings are absolutely correct!
One thing I will comment on is crime in Japan… generally speaking it is safe, but
still there are places in Japan you shouldn’t be!↵ -
I have to say this is a relief. I have so much respect for Japan and it’s people. Although it made me sad believing that Japan has such distrust and hatred of those different then themselves. I personally can understand where this comes from. When you are as isolated a country as Japan is it isn’t hard to see why this is the case. People fear what they don’t understand or can relate to. It’s human nature really but doesn’t mean we can’t coexist together in harmony. We are made of the same DNA and while are appearances are different as is our culture and customs. We are human beings at our core. Japan has so much to offer the world with it’s rich and storied history. Although I guess one can be expect this to happen in any xenophobic society but doesn’t mean you can’t try to change things. I will do my very best to show Japan that I may be a foreigner but one which accepts it’s culture, customs and way of life. I will be extremely respectful even more so then i usually am. I will always put others ahead of myself and contribute to the group. I will always turn down a complement as to show I am no better or worse then anyone else. I will never accept a gift under any condition. I will learn the language to the best of my ability and not expect everyone knows English.
This might not get me far but at least it is nice to know someone isn’t going to hit me over the head just because I am a foreigner. I have no doubt this will be a very difficult experience and one which will require extreme discipline on my part. Tourists are just not used to this kinda of boot camp training but is necessary when in Japan. Well I guess we will see what happens but I pray I won’t run into the nightmare situations which some here have likely experienced. It’s likely going to take the efforts of many to change Japan’s perception of foreigners. Get rid of all the bad foreigners and replace them with the good ones. In a since when you look at it we are ambassadors and not just tourists. Most people don’t see it that way though but should. If Japan has a certain perception of you change that and prove to them otherwise. It’s hard work no doubt but I hope that maybe in time things will change. Thanks for all the great posts here and convincing me that Japan is worth the trip. ^_^
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Thank you VERY much! Im studying Japan for fun, and I know a little japanese.. I really want to go there one day and see what its like
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I agree with you we must about the tradition, customs of visiting destination in order to avoid any misbehave, especially about different fascinating places etc
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I’ve been learning Japanese for awhile now and cant wait to use some of it when I (hopefully) travel there. I am going to be working in Animation and Digital Media Art and hope to study the art and techniques in Japan ^-^
Domo arigato
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you made a mistake
japan isn’t the only country that has four seasons
iran has four seasons ,too.↵ -
Traveling abroad to places like Japan are definitely wonderful experiences, but you should absolutely to research on the culture and customs before going. This is a great list to get started if traveling to Japan. Thanks
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It fascinates me that Western people so often claims to be individualist then generalizes Japan with no hesitation. What a paradox.
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